Me and Buster
I’m pretty much just kid in grown-up shoes. Lots of energy and the life of the party. So is Buster! We’re a good pair. He is my family. I love latin dancing and music. Feel like a failure in life. I don’t work. Hard to stay sober. Struggle with depression and anxiety too.
My daughters are amazing. They are successful! Live out of town though. I think I am a disappointment to them.
Finally have my own place. Couldn’t afford it without supportive housing. I have a hard time being alone. So bored!
Love my family, but it’s complicated. They support me so much, but they still treat me like I’m the baby of the family. Sometimes they don’t tell me about something that’s going on in the family because they don’t think I can take it. That hurts.
My mom means a lot to me. She’s getting older now, so I take care of her. Visit my mom when I can. She lives 1h away. It’s hard sometimes. I want to spend time with her because she doesn’t have much time left, but I know that I also tend to start drinking when I’m around her for a couple days.
I have a worker who helps me keep on track and keep my housing. She’s really nice. She reminds me that I can do this, I am doing this, and she helps me feel more confident. She helps me think things through before I do them--I can be really impulsive, and that’s what gets me into trouble!
Go to a lot of meetings all over the place. I’ve done AA before, but this time is the farthest I’ve ever gotten. I really like my sponsor this time, like talking with him. He rocks! Sometimes other people gossip a lot. I hate that part of it.
I love going here because I get attention and help. I relapse and black out and find myself here. They are fed up with me. When I get discharged I go home and use again while I wait for detox to have a bed.
When I get drunk or high I call them. They come and talk to me and I like that. I don’t really know why I call them sometimes. They never arrest me so that’s good!
Been 6 different places. None seem to work. Want to work on my trauma but most places don’t do that. Don’t remember how many times I’ve been to detox...too many to count!
I take the bus or walk everywhere. I sometimes just walk around the neighbourhood with Buster. Love being outside and in nature.
Love giving back. Volunteer at several places. Love talking to people. Gives me something to do with my time. It was hard for me to start volunteering though. It’s always hard for me to try start new things. I really struggle to believe in myself and put myself out there to learn something new. I’m so sure I’ll fail.